The News From Zipperfinch Lake

My name is Carl Croshatch and I'm the owner, reporter and editor of the local newspaper here in Zipperfinch Lake, Michigan. My newspaper is the Zipperfinch Lake Buffoon. If you will look to your left, you will see a list of a few of my newspaper articles which will give you an idea of what the town and some of the residents are like. It is best that you read them in order because a few of them relate back to previous articles.

Zipperfinch Lake is located in the central upper peninsula of the Union of Socialist Counties, sometimes referred to as Michigan, about forty miles south and west of Marquette. Tombstone, Arizona is known as "The town too tough to die." Zipperfinch Lake also has a slogan but it's not official. People in the rest of the state say, "If you live in that town, that's tough."

There is a link at the bottom of this page to contact me. The post office will only accept first class mail, however. They used to handle the usual circulars, advertisements and catalogs but they decided they had too few employees to be bothered with sorting them. Before they instituted the policy, Lefty Clayborne, the local mail carrier, would dispose of them anyway before he started his route. He never told anyone what he did with the junk mail but I've been warned, by more than a few people, to never drink any water from the old well behind the post office.

You may notice in the picture of the post office at the bottom of this page that the flag isn't flying out front on the flagpole. That's because they don't have a flag. It seems that every time they put one up, Butch Bloodshot, the local juvenile delinquent, would steal it. The people that run the post office finally gave up on the flag but I understand that Butch has quite a collection of American flags up in the attic of his parents' garage right next to his road sign collection.

ZIPPERFINCH LAKE POST OFFICE

Contact Carl Croshatch